BTS Edition - Stop THIS, Start THAT.

Let's do this shit.

There’s A LOT out on these interweb streets about how to handle back to school…so I figured, I BETTER JUMP IN!

This mini-series is not that deep or that much of a heavy lift (isn’t the world awful enough?), but applicable to pretty much every parent.

Here’s the deal:

Every week for September, you will get a STOP THIS, START THAT e-mail with some helpful prompts for my paid folks.

Let’s do this shit.

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STOP THIS!

Stop running your yapper at your kid after daycare, school, aftercare, practice, school, college classes, whatever.

Examples of running your yapper at yer kids:

Who did you sit next to at lunch? Who are your new friends? Why are so tired today? Who did you hang with at free? Who did you see between courses? Why didn’t you eat your lunch? Did you poop? Why did you cry at recess? Where is your assignment notebook? Why didn’t you ask your teacher for help?

Good Lord. Your child could file suit for harassment. It’s rude, they are never going to give you an answer you like, and it isn’t effective communication.

I know why you pepper your kiddos with these questions: you are worried, curious, anxious, WORRIED, and sometimes desperate to connect with them.

I feel you.

Nothing wrong with wanting to connect to your children.

But is it going to drive them away, physically and emotionally…so instead…

START THIS!

Start building in proximity…which means…by being around your kid that is relaxing and chill. Another word for this is Co-Regulation. Co-regulation is what happens when you are with someone or something who/that makes you feel physically and emotionally safe. It feels like a nice, long sigh.

Examples of being around your kids that are chill:

Making both of you a snack. Watching reels together. Walking dogs. Cook something together. Watch a show and cuddle. Be in the same room (yup, so basic). Listen to music. Craft. Send a funny meme or tiktok. Shoot hoops. Leaving them alone while something yummy bakes. Foot rubs. Singing.

Here’s the deal. Everyone, especially most children, needs to thaw out a little after being SO overstimulated at school. For some kids, that looks like busily blowing off steam (think trampolines, swinging, busy gaming)…for other kids, it looks like privacy and isolation (knitting, quietly coloring, reading).

The goal is to create more connection, less chaos.

More serenity, less sass.

More easy, less angst.

Tune in next week as we figure out how to get some shit done around the house.

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Here are so more prompts to help you shut yer yapper and co-regulate a tiny bit better: