Showing up with love even when it feels hard. ❤️‍🩹

It was tired this year.

In years last, the notes flowed out of me…

This year? Not so much.

DC (where I live) is on the struggle bus.

People are, in equal measure, panicked and dead-eyed.

It’s a lot; the energy is everywhere and it’s so profoundly sad.

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I’ve also been sad about my middle leaving for college.

I threw a fit last week and posted a note about how tired I was re: people not understanding autism and the burnout that comes with it.

I know now, seven days later, that the fit was rooted in sadness.

My go-to when I’m sad and tired is anger. It’s an old coping mechanism that used to keep me safe. It was so effective for so long…until it wasn’t.

Sobriety (not therapy or yoga or meditation or meds) has taught me that my anger is a dashboard light blinking “CHECK ENGINE, MEGHAN.” I gotta go past the anger and, with curiosity and compassion, poke around a little.

Some reflection questions for you: