Stop that. Start this...

Stop assuming your kids don't know/haven't heard/haven't seen some stuff.

⭐️ NEWS IN MLPC ⭐️

Soooo, the fall has been a leeeeeetle chaotic…but good. If you’ve been following my social media, you know that I have been through a melanoma diagnosis (get your skin checked) and some breast cancer scares (get your breasts checked).

Because I have been busy getting hunks of skins cut out or squeezed, I have not been telling you that ALL of my online classes are 50% off! Why?

BECAUSE I TURNED 50 YEARS OLD!

It feels amazing to turn 50. Sure, starting to feel creaky and blind and hormonal is brutal, but I have some wisdom, badass friends, a husband I want to keep around, and kids who make me proud because of how weird and wonderful they are.

So, yeah. Use the code BDAY for my parenting classes (littles and tweens). Share it. No catches.

Love you.

---

Not once, not twice, but three times this week random parents have said to me, “Yeah, my kids haven’t seen (insert horrible national/global incident. We don’t have social media/talk about that/watch that/go there/do that. My kids don’t know anything about that.”

Uh-huh.

Okay, I am gonna say this once: STOP THAT.

Stop assuming your children haven’t seen or heard porn/assassinations/offers for drugs/mature shows/R-rated movies/scary movies/starvation/shootings/bad language….the list goes on and on.

I not trying to scare you, I am trying to empower you to step into imperfection and face that our culture is a little ahead of the curve.

Social media, the news, older siblings, screens on planes, buses, trains, other family members…our children see and hear all the things.

Please, please, please (kind of begging) here, STOP ASSUMING THAT YOU DON’T NEED TO CHECK IN.

And know this: I am saying this ALL with love because I KNOW it is not easy. We don’t really want to face this hard stuff because it is scary and makes us feel vulnerable. Denial feels temporarily awesome, and hoping our partner/school/another responsible adult will take care of it is also a way of avoiding reality. AND we need to parent courageously…we are called to do it in this culture.

Of course, very little kids are more likely to be safe from the worst of of the news, but…

YOU CAN START THIS, INSTEAD:

Connecting, listening, and being honest with your kids.

You can just ask: “Hey, have you seen ______…I know it’s been making the rounds on the screens….what are you thinking about it?”

OR

“Sometimes we see scary things, or things that don’t make sense. And you know what? That’s okay. Mommy/Daddy/Caretaker is always here to help you make sense of it…there’s nothing we cannot face together.”

OR

“There are things in movies and online that may scare you or make you curious…that’s totally normal…” and wait to see what they say.

As your children get older, you need to do this more, but look at this data in case you are wondering if your child has seen things.

Here’s the beautiful thing: you don’t have to know shit to do this well. You don’t need to be an expert in war, religion, politics, sex, drugs, social media, or entertainment.

All you need to do is keep showing up. Listen. Stay developmentally appropriate and honest. RINSE AND REPEAT.

Our culture feels fucked right now, but your relationship with your child is real, life-affirming and life-saving.

You can start this right now. Imperfectly.

Another beautiful thing? The more you practice this, the less scary it feels. The less scary it feels, the more you show up. The more you show up, the safer the child feels. And the circle goes around and around…and of course, bad things will happen…but your relationship is a thread of connection that will stay strong in the storm.

Don’t wait for anyone to show up and do this for you. You are the hero you are waiting for…

Here are some tips for figuring out how to check in with your children! ⬇️