What do you sound like to your kids?
And I know I can sound like a critical witch because they tell me so. 😉
One of the simplest and fastest ways to improve your parenting life is to take charge of your tone.
Yup. Just the tone of your voice. If you want to be a bad-ass, also the tone of your body and energy, but hey. One thing at a time.
Definition of tone: accent or inflection expressive of a mood or emotion.
One of the fuckers of parenting life is that you can have a really really bad day, and your children can have nothing to do with it, but the tone of your voice will make them think they are in trouble. Or bad. Or responsible. Or (fill in the blank).
It can sound like sarcasm, disinterest, annoyance, anger, dismissiveness, simmering rage, snark, or general fatigue.
It sucks.
And it is a relationship ruiner.
Some ideas to combat this:
Make a list of when you feel like your day is the hardest with your children. And get specific (like, getting out the door and getting them into the car)
Record yourself during those moments. Don’t tell anyone, and this isn’t a tool to shame you; we are collecting data.
Focus on changing your tone, just in these moments. Soften your face. Smile (yes, smiling activates neurons that make you more positive…annoying, I know). Breathe instead of speaking. Notice your desire to get snarky or sarcastic or annoyed or mad or curse-y rise up in you…and watch it go away. Yes, it happens. Get on the child’s level. Touch them gently on the shoulder. Speak to them like you’d want to be spoken to.
Any of these ideas will help, so use anything.
Reflect on it after a week or two and see what happened. Or not.
So, yeah, tone matters so much. And if you cannot seem to change your tone, that is where you begin. Why are you so stressed and pressed? Mean? Negative? Passive?
Love you.
P.S. - Have you been listening to my mini-pod? I am talking about my life rather just droning on about other parenting things.
